My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Even my vagina gasped.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
