D3 body, D1 cock
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
