bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
