dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize