mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
