Your face is a jimmy john
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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