You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
