Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
