is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
