What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
