my soul wont recognize me after tonight
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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