So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
