i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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