you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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