So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize