don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
