I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
