WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
