I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
