He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
