Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
