ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
