I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
