my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
