ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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