My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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