she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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