I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
