He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize