Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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