Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
