I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
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