Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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