i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
