Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
