When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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