Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
