she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
