I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
