Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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