When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
