my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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