bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
