end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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