Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
