Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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