Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize