Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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