If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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