Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize