There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
