Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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