Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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