watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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