Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
