nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
