The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
thus making me awesome and them whores
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
