i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
