i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
