Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize