Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize