She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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