Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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