sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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