do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
