Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
