I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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