In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize