Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
