I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize