He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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