weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
