i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
