oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
