Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Found your dick twin last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
