it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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