she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
