Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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