yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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