Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
