i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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