those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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